Happy Valentine's Day!

My patient and typically very private husband really handles my social media driven life with ease and understanding. This year, I made him the Valentine you see below. It's true, you know. I do love him more than social media. 

After I shared it with some of my friends, they asked for the 2nd version. 

Spread the love, right? 

Happy Valentine's Week!

I love people.

I love people. I truly do.

I stand behind my position that we all have something to learn from each other.

I came across this video today online and it speaks to my heart. Watch it, you'll love it too.

Don't Give in to Shame.

I'm going a little deep with this post. Far deeper than is typical or maybe even necessary, but here I go nonetheless. My apologies in advance.

Recently when traveling between Utah and Salt Lake counties the alternative radio station I was listening to, slowly evolved from a Weezer song into an Evangelical Christian sermon. I didn't even notice at first, as my mind was wandering on to other things, but a simple quote struck me quite plainly into realization that my entertainment had changed. To my disappointment, I cannot recall the wording, but the quote was about shame, and it's effect on our perceptions of our own self worth - and it's negative impact on motivation.

I hadn't really every thought about shame before. Have you?

Shame is literally defined as a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety. 

I can admit here that I don't really face shame as result of guilt... and if we're being frank, I don't really face it as a result of impropriety either. So, use those wonderous powers of deduction and figure out where my struggle lies.

My heart sank a bit, if we're being honest here, as I realized for the first time that I was dealing with feelings of shame. This realization coupled with a realization that I'm not really as strong and independent as I'd like to envision myself, has had me in some sort of unsettled state ever since. Honestly? I was mad. 

There are several factors in my life that impact these feelings of "not being enough". Some are self-inflicted, some are not. Some I can control, some I should be able to control better.

I'm not trying to be dramatic here, but it's something I think we can all help each other with. Here's my advice.

The internet is a magical thing and unless you and I don't know each other in the slightest, you know that I have a deep love for social media. But you know what else? Social media platforms make it pretty dang easy to compare yourself to other people. You can see 'likes' and 'fans' and 'connections' all on top of photos of happy glittery times, fancy foods, new purchases, new jobs, elaborate soirees, fun-packed weekends, and so so so much more. 

Have you ever had this thought?

It seems everyone you know is doing something cooler than you.

Here's piece of unsolicited advice, #1. Remember that people are typically only posting highlights via their Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, blogs, etc. Consider the information you see there to be like "first date" information. It seems all glowing - but no one's life is without trial and tribulation. 

Unsolicited Advice #2. Maybe you don't deal with shame, but likely someone you interact with does. Don't constantly mention that your house is too small - maybe theirs is smaller. Don't repeatedly verbalize that you think you're fat - especially if you're not - because they'll feel three times as fat as you. You get the idea where this is going.

Unsolicited Advice #3. Do whatever you need to do to cut yourself some slack. Other peoples' words (and actions)- especially those close to you - can so intensely impact our feelings of self worth that if they're causing those feelings to lessen, a reality check is needed. It's pretty easy to feel inadequate these days, and the people that are out there causing those feelings to intensify are simply, just miserable people. Don't let them win.

Unsolicited Advice #4. Inevitably there are going to be things you're naturally good at and inevitably some of your friends and family will not have those same strengths. Just because it's easy for you, doesn't mean it's easy for everyone. Perhaps something that seems so simple to you is someone else's biggest life challenge. Be patient. Be supportive. Be appreciative. Be kind. Notice other people's talents and let them know that you do. 

I got some amazing advice from my oldest sister right before I started my freshman year of college. In summary she said, "Now that you're an adult there is no more single path to follow."

All I'm asking for with this post is that you succeed - the way you're supposed to.... not the way everyone else is. 

Shame is sometimes used as a motivator but I attest to you that it is not. Shame damages, sometimes irreparably. Don't spread it and don't succumb to it, and most importantly don't let it overshadow your amazing-ness. Because, well... you know, you're amazing. 

Glamourfied.

The year I turned 16 my mom organized a surprise Sweet 16 party for me. Because we lived on the border of Virginia and North Carolina, I had friends in both states, and in order to get everyone to the party venue but keep me out of the picture, my lovely mother needed to have me somewhere else.

My mom, bless her heart, set up an appointment to do Glamour Shots. Yes, you read that right.

Reflecting on my teenage years, I wouldn't necessarily consider myself a tomboy, but I most certainly wasn't girly. I didn't love fixing my hair or doing my makeup - nor was I good at either - and did what I could to pull off the 'hippie' vibe a lot of the time. Honestly? I was mortified at the thought of a Glamour Shot, but went through with it anyway.

Here's 'normal' 16 year old me:

Here's Glamour Shot Lindsey.

I'm glad you can't decipher the PINK PINK lipstick from the black and white nature of the photo. Don't I look thrilled?

Once the shots were taken I headed home and my mom made up an excuse as to why we had to swing by the clubhouse in our neighborhood. Little did I know that I was walking into a room filled with friends. It was awesome - don't get me wrong - but I was still "glamourfied" and I was totally embarrassed to be seen by practically everyone I knew.

Why do I tell you this whole story? Great question.

Ironically, 16 years after my first experience with a makeup/hair/photoshoot, I was talked into another.

My good friend Melody had recently taken shots with her friend Nikra, who had done her hair, makeup, and photo shoot - and her pictures were amazing.

Granted, I will never be as hot as Miss Melody (as my kids call her) but I figured it was worth a shot.

Here was one of my results:

Yeah, I know, I know - I don't *really* look like this in real life- but it's a true testament to Nikra's amazing abilities.

So, mostly I wanted to introduce you to Nikra, seen below. After one summer working for MAC, she discovered her passion for beauty. She's completed several courses on makeup and hair for television and film, not to mention the time she dedicates to studying Civil Engineering at BYU.

She has a great website and a fun Facebook page with tons of before and after photos, as well as great beauty tips.

Recently, I convinced my hot friend Jill Kaufusi (of Square Native) into a photoshoot so I could photograph some of the process and to feature a giveaway here from Nikra's Makeup.

Check out our afternoon via photo:

 You want in, don't you?

This week, I'm giving away a hair & makeup session AND a photo session with Nikra. In addition, the winner will also be getting a gift basket of beauty products from Foot Petals, Cover Girl, Oil of Olay, and Pantene. This entire package worth over $200!

Entering is easy. Just do it below! 

(Either way - LIKE her Facebook page HERE and keep up with all her great info and promotions!)



a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good ol' 2012.

Good ol' 2012.

We're only 2 weeks in to the new year and I already feel behind with my life vs. the blogosphere. I'm not sure it's supposed to feel that way, but - what can you do.

2012 was sort of a big year, I'd say. Here are some highlights.

Fell in love with the Color Me Rad 5K when it came to Orem.

Found our new favorite camping location with Capitol Reef State Park

Attended Evo (a social media conference) for the first time. 

Participated in my very first Flash Mob, thanks to my lovely friend, Jenny Eckton.

Rode in a hot air balloon with the amazing Kathy Dalton. 

Lost my cousin, Logan. He'll be sorely missed. Was able to raise over $1300 to help with Luna's medical bills when she jumped to be with Logan right after his fall.

Eva entered an art contest for the band Guster (whom I love dearly) and won. In return she was awarded an overnighter at the Montage in Park City, as well as tickets for our whole family to attend an outdoor concert of theirs. She was able to bring the winning entry to the lead singer of the band and he was so cute in receiving it.

Started a new blogger education and outreach business with some lovely women. 

Drove to St. George & stayed at the Abbey Inn & Suites to run the Color Me Rad once more - and this time as a whole family.

Raised $1100 for Malaria preventing mosquito nets for Ghana & collected over 300 boxes of Crayola crayons for kids in the villages there.

Kept up with my mommy-ing.

Not too shabby, right?

Happy New Year - may 2013 be the best one yet.

Our Missing Piece

I've written  and re-written this post over and over in my head this week, yet have a feeling that I'm going to get out nothing that I wanted to get out.

I don't tend to wax personal all that much with my blog. I like to think of myself as a 'community' blogger and that's really where I like to keep my focus. It's less complicated that way - and easy for me - since one of my most intense passions is just that.

Last night on Facebook, I posted this:

 Let there be no confusion - I didn't post this to peak interest or increase my blog traffic today. I posted this so I'd have to be accountable to myself for getting this post done. This subject matter is not my favorite, and in fact - unless you knew me 5 or 6 years ago, you likely don't even know much about it at all. Nevertheless, I sincerely felt there could and would be some relief from getting this out there into the interweb universe. So.... here we go.

I'm a stepmom. It's a term that I've never loved because I jumped into this position over 11 years ago and did so with all the gusto I had."Stepmom" makes it seem removed to me - and likely because of too many Disney movies with bad ones.

When Ben and I met and started dating in February 2001, I quickly fell in love with him AND the two boys he brought into our relationship, who were 4 and 2 at the time. When we married, I promised myself that I'd be a mom to them - and would do everything for them that I would have done for children I had born myself. I did just that.

Years and years passed and we managed our blended family just as well as anyone could and while it's inevitably a challenge, things generally worked out with everyone happy. Sounds too easy to be true, right? Yeah, I guess so.

Here comes the hard part. <<sick feeling in my stomach>>

This is my oldest son Kyle. This picture was taken in 2005, when he was 11 years old.

This is the last family picture we had taken - before our lives, in a sense, completely fell apart. Proof, unfortunately, that I have to reference to remind me that there were simpler times and that my memories of our family aren't just a dream.

Not too long after this picture was taken, our lives changed forever, and because the nitty gritty details make me sick to my stomach, I'll do my best to summarize.

The dynamic of the boys' other family changed with a 3rd marriage. Not only did their family dynamic change, but ours did as well.

This 3rd marriage they were experiencing created havoc in our home. The way we handled things between our families was turned upside down and inside out. Tensions rose beyond my ability to handle and things got ugly. Really ugly.

Have you ever heard someone say "bitter custody battle"? Trust me, those words mean different things to me now than they ever did before.... and unfortunately, I've learned of the emotional, spiritual, physical, and financial toll that something like that can be on a family.

I don't want to focus on the mess- but I will say these times included false accusations, repeated court appointments, periods of time without the boys, and more. I was devastated. My heart was broken. I couldn't eat - I couldn't sleep - I couldn't function. Keeping an eternal perspective was virtually impossible.

The saddest part of this story? There was a casualty. I lost my son, Kyle.

We were always very close, he and I. With an affinity for art - as well as a natural ability - we had much in common. Kyle was tender-hearted and imaginative and we were glued to each other from the beginning. When Ben and I had married 7 years earlier, I never could have imagined how dramatically our relationship would change.

Kyle turned 16 yesterday. 16. I really can't believe it. My thoughts had been with him through the whole weekend and my heart ached to celebrate with him.

I haven't seen Kyle since he was 14. The complexity of the issues is hard to explain - and even harder to understand.

I put out this story - at the risk of it being consumed (and delighted in) by the wrong parties - because I need it to be clear where I stand. My love for Kyle has not changed. I think of him daily and hope for his success and happiness in life. I also hope for a time when we can reunite and figure things out. As any mother can attest, a family is not complete with a missing piece

Happy 16th birthday, Kyle. We miss you.

Give Nets. Save Lives: Part 2.

It's no secret the level of love I have for Twitter. I've mentioned that here a few times.

I heard it referred to once as the 'great equalizer,' which sentiment I stand behind completely if used regularly and properly. We're in a day and age where you can build a community - where you no longer have to be famous, political, or have important connections.

I use Twitter recreationally, mostly. It's always fascinated me to see what people - from everywhere - are talking about.

About a week and a half ago I posted about a cool experience I had exchanging tweets with George, one of the guys featured in that crazy Discovery Channel show Jungle Gold. In short, I caught an episode of the show (it's on really late, folks) and ended up hopping online to learn more about their endeavors. A simple tweet I posted about watching their show turned into an immediate response from George, and some friendly banter about the show's intensity.

After a restless and sleepless night (sleep is for suckers, I always say) I had a light-bulb moment. The gentlemen from Jungle Gold were from Utah - a fact that is really what drew my interest into the show in the first place -and not just from Utah, but from a place really close to me. Maybe they could help me with information or assistance on doing something charitable for the remote village in Ghana for the holiday season.

In short - they obliged. And all via Twitter, I might add.

And like I mentioned in my previous post, a handful of tweets turned into a few phone calls, and a brewing of ideas on what I could do.

I didn't want to assume that I knew what they people of Ghana needed. Chatting with George, he mentioned the need for mosquito nets. I set up a fundraiser and decided that my focus this month - from December 1st to 24th, would be to raise money for the purchase of mosquito nets. George graciously agreed to return to Ghana in January with the nets we're able to purchase, and will pass them out to those in need.

(I've raised over $600 and I'm shooting for $1000. There's less than 2 weeks left - Click HERE to donate)

In the meantime, in a phone conversation on November 30th, he mentioned they were taking a quick trip to Ghana and would be returning before Christmas. Their date of departure was only 4 days away.

I wanted to do something then. What could I do? What would make sense? What could make a difference?

Inevitably my thoughts turned to the kids in Ghana.

I decided that I'd like to send crayons. Small boxes of crayons.

With about 4 days to gather 275 boxes, I turned to Facebook.... and guess what? Facebook delivered.

Between myself, and my friends Emmie Watts, Julie Dayley, and Jonie Sumison,we gathered 315 boxes of crayons in just 3 days, which was a heartwarming experience in and of itself.

Have you ever thought about how much 315 boxes of 24-count crayons would weigh? Yeah, me neither.

I packed the crayons - all 95lbs of them - into two carry-on sized suitcases and delivered them to George. I was proud of the collection, but embarrassed that I hadn't really considered the extra weight, potential expense, and likely inconvenience of traveling to Africa with two extremely heavy extra bags.

The bags were loaded, I was able to hear some cool stories about their experiences in Ghana, and the crayons were then on their way.

Just a few days later - I get this tweet:

and a few days after that, I got something even sweeter

 

 and today I got this....

I quickly teared up and said a little prayer of gratitude. What a cool opportunity. In just under a week I was able to connect with someone I'd never met before that happened to be heading to Africa, was able to collect over 300 boxes of crayons, and was able to receive a photo of some of the crayons being received in a land far far from home. And all of this - thanks to social media. 

Now do you see why I love it so much? It takes 'doing good' to a whole new level. 

Let's connect on Twitter, shall we? Follow me via @linzlinzlinz.... Oh, and don't forget to donate. You even earn one entry into a drawing for one of two $100 Visa gift cards, for every $5 you put toward this cause. Donate HERE.